Hello my lovely readers, today I would like to talk about RELATIONSHIPS. I’m on this Facebook group called “Stuttering community” and once in a while members of this group ask if it’s possible to have a life partner. I do get a little bit sad every time I see this question.
We need to understand
In my own opinion I think we all need to understand one fact. Even those who look perfect and speak without interruptions, they also have a lot of doubts about themselves. We are not the only ones struggling. I think we need to understand the second fact that speech isn’t a problem that gets in our way. It is US, that make it look like it is a problem. I truly believe that if we would look in to stuttering as into “we all speak differently” way, we wouldn’t see it as a problem. Yes, I understand it requires a lot patience to deal with other people, who keep interrupting us. But we have to stand straight and be proud of ourselves. We must be strong and show to us and our (future) children, that we are damn strong! Would you let to your children to feel pity about the way he/she talks? I’m pretty sure you would you everything to show him/her that he/she is perfect the way he/she is.
My own experience
I am in a relationship for 8 years and we don’t have any trouble about the way I talk. Just recently asked my boyfriend what he thinks about my stuttering and how he feels when I get stuck in the middle of sentence. He said “that’s the way you talk and it doesn’t bother me at all. Just like at the beginning when we started dating, I didn’t know you stutter, I thought that’s the way you talk,”
I know it is not easy to say “i stutter”, but once you say it to yourself loudly everything will start to change. I’m not saying you have to be a warrior, but on the other hand you have to. You have to know you weakness and also your advantages.
Take a time
Maybe some of you will be thinking “easy for you to say”. Could be yes, could be not. But I really know when the biggest changes started in me. They day I accepted my stuttering and knew that he can come any time. Some of the days are better, some of the days are the worst. Stuttering is a part of you, don’t make it as it is your worst enemy.
Never rush in to relationship if you feel that you are ashamed of the way you talk. First of all make a piece with yourself. Love yourself.